A full scale emergency response exercise will be conducted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 for the Tennessee Homeland Security District 3 beginning at 10:00am and lasting until approximately 4:00pm. This exercise will take place in both Bradley and Hamilton Counties and involve emergency responders from all of the ten counties that constitute District 3. This full scale exercise has been preceded by two separate tabletop exercises involving various government and emergency agencies and scenarios to develop plans and strategies that allow our county agencies to work together in improving response efforts in the likelihood of a wide scale emergency.

This full scale exercise is to test the preparedness of emergency responders, law enforcement, hospitals, school systems, businesses, and City and County Governments within District 3 in the event of a Chemical, Biological, Nuclear, and Explosive (CBRNE) emergency. In order to test the resources and capabilities of the responding agencies within the District, the exercise will incorporate three independent but simultaneous scenarios. This exercise will also require the activation and evaluation of the Cleveland-Bradley County Emergency Management Agency’s “Emergency Operations Center” (EOC) under the direction of EMA Director, Troy Spence.

The CBRNE full scale exercise scenario is based on three simultaneous incidents occurring throughout the District and includes: a simulated school shooting/SWAT event in Bradley County, a transport incident to include hazardous chemicals caused by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) in Cleveland, and a building collapse in Hamilton County. The locations of the three scenarios are as follows:

Scenario 1:
Simulated “School Shooting/SWAT” Incident
Location: Walker Valley High School
750 Lauderdale Memorial Highway
Bradley County

Note: Approximately 150 students and faculty who normally attend
Walker Valley, will be volunteering to participate in the school shooting
scenario to provide realistic simulation of the drill.

Scenario 2:
Simulated “Transport/Hazardous Materials/IED” Incident
Location: The old Cooke’s Manufacturing Facility
King Edward Avenue (South end of Cleveland)
Bradley County

Scenario 3:
Simulated “Building Collapse” Incident
Location: Hickory Valley Road at Discovery Drive
(Inside the Enterprise South Industrial Development area)
Hamilton County

This exercise should not impact or restrict normal traffic flow in these locations. However, the general public is asked to avoid these areas, if at all possible, during the times of this exercise in order to allow participating agencies to have better access to these sites. Due to safety concerns, the general public will not be allowed access to these sites during the drill.

While these scenarios are something that we hope will never happen within our community or District, it is vital that all of the counties within District 3 continue to work together in a coordinated effort to develop emergency plans and shared response capabilities to effectively prepare for the worse. The planning of this full scale exercise has been in the development stages for the past several months involving the leadership of State and District 3 Counties Officials. Chief Dewey Woody, of the Bradley County Fire and Rescue, has chaired the planning of this drill which will be evaluated by State Homeland Security personnel and selected representatives from area emergency response agencies.

by Tim Edwards, Public Information Officer, Bradley County Local Emergency Planning Committee

Thomas Paine once said, “These are times that try men’s souls.” Since March 11, that quote has taken on new meaning for HomeTownCleveland.com. By now, all of you know the story of how HTC fell victim (along with thousands of other websites across the country) to purported jihadist hackers. Now, in that attack’s aftermath come the rumors, criticism, speculation and gossip.

Allow us to address some of your concerns.

First of all, several of our friends have expressed displeasure that HTC used the analogy of September 11 when discussing that March 11 attack. We apologize most vigorously for offending anyone, it was never our intention to trivialize 9/11. In fact, we can’t apologize enough if it seemed we were making light of America’s tragedy. In retrospect, we realize it was perhaps an ill-conceived parallel to draw. We used the 9/11 analogy purely in relative terms of property damage ~ which was considerable ~ and the fact that the attack seems to have come from the same militant faction that has vowed over and over to destroy America’s freedoms, infrastructure and communications. We even provided links so folks could see for themselves the sheer number of websites that have been demolished by the Turkish Warrior.

In our defense, even though people don’t like to think about it, the threat to our country by subterfuge is more real than at any other time in history. The enemy uses our freedoms against us. It is not just airliners that can be used as weapons ~ terror cells can also use the Internet, international shipping, and even our own borders as weapons. We have no idea what the future holds. Homeland Security has warned repeatedly to be on guard for further terror attacks. Experts have been telling us for years that we are vulnerable. Some have even suggested that the next attack could well be nuclear. We ignore these warnings at our own peril.

Anyway, we don’t mean to be alarmists, but please don’t underestimate HTC’s sincerity ~ we would never intentionally make light of 9/11 or the trauma and suffering the country experienced on that day. If anything, we were simply offering ourselves up as an object lesson. And again, we apologize.

Some other comments we have received …

How did HTC manage to get hacked?
Truthfully ~ and our site director has taken responsibility ~ the software powering HTC was already four years old. In cyber years, that’s ancient. The new applications have protections that would have prevented the attack, but being as HTC has always operated on a tight budget, we had to go with what we had. In fact, the March 11 attack is doubly unfortunate, because we were engaged in talks with some folks to help us upgrade the entire site when the virus hit. Too little, too late. However, guarding against hackers is a constant battle. The newer software might have better protections, but then the hackers just become more sophisticated. So even the newest fire walls and security become vulnerable within a few years.

As a member of HTC, have I been compromised?
This hack job wasn’t a case of someone retrieving information from HTC. It was a case of them taking advantage of our membership process to unleash a virus on the site itself. In essence, a string of code was released that permeated the forums. Repairing the damage requires ferreting out all traces of that code and eliminating it. As to a member being compromised, please remember ~ HTC knows nothing about you other than the email address you supplied for verification when you registered. So that’s kind of a moot concern as we’ve never had any personal information to compromise. You place more personal information on your curbside with you trash every week than you’ll find at HTC.

Will those bad hackers be able to find me?
Do you get spam in your email? Then those bad hackers have already found you. And it had nothing to do with HTC.

Was HTC intentionally crashed to avoid a lawsuit?
This is a troll “speculation” ~ an obvious and mean-spirited attempt to hurt our credibility at a time when we seem vulnerable … you know, blood in the water? To suggest that we would intentionally crash the website to avoid a lawsuit is prurient, disingenious and patently untrue. HTC would never ~ under any circumstances ~ sabotage our site. As to a lawsuit, that is nonsense. If legal action were ever taken against us ~ or even threatened ~ you, the reading public, would be the first to know. Certainly we have nothing to hide and to suggest such a thing is outrageous. And don’t overestimate our vulnerability.

We believe the reason HTC was so popular in this area and so widely read was because folks knew they could speak freely. Sure, the discussions could sometimes go over the top, but our site administrator always tried to keep things focused and on topic. What a lot of people don’t understand is HTC’s discussion forums are completely apart from HTC’s editorial position. We have always endeavored to operate with integrity and openness, and with the exception of investigative reports we have always been editorially neutral and have never taken sides. We have no secret ties and no hidden agendas. Please allow us ~ based on our history of openness, candor and community service ~ the assumption of integrity. We have always spoken the truth as we see it, openly and in the light of day, and we will continue to do so.

What is a “knowledge base”?
Ever hear of a library? HTC contains a wealth of information. Not just information about Cleveland/Bradley, but about the world in general. Every important news story and event of the past three years are chronicled in the HTC knowledge base, along with statements made on the record by both public and private individuals in the discussion forums. In fact, a large number of HTC hits come from Google. This means people googling information from all over the world are routinely directed to HomeTownCleveland.com.

We hope we’ve answered some of your concerns. If you have further questions, don’t hesitate to post them and we will address them.

We appreciate your support through this ordeal, and hope to eventually retrieve all the information that was lost, including everything from the discussion forums (actually, our news and anti-news stories are still around … they’ve all been cached at Google and you can still access them there). HTC is first and foremost a community. And as a community we will weather this rough water.

By the way, that entire quote by Thomas Paine that we opened with goes like this: “These are times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”

Stand with us now, friends. We promise to do all we can to continue the good works we began back in the summer of ’04.

Testing 1~2~3 … testing … Are we back up? Are we on the air? Are we back on the air? Can somebody … We are? We’re on? We’re back on? Okay …

Hello, folks. This is your old buddy, Uncle J. Michael, and I am coming to you live from the ruins of our offices in downtown Hometown. I will broadcast as long as it is reasonably safe to do so. I say all this because people love drama.

Are you smarter than a sixth grader? A class of sixth graders at Trail Ridge Middle School in Colorado engaged in a big class project featuring scientific research and mock debates to determine whether or not global warming was real. After considering all the evidence, they decided the earth may be warming, but it’s a natural cycle ~ not necessarily caused by humans. Of course, you know there would be at least one idiot parent who would complain. One kid’s mother was offended that AlGore’s global warming farce, “An Inconvenient Truth” wasn’t included as part of the class’ scientific evidence. Just another example of red-state/blue-state madness. And yes, that mother was the same woman who was turned down as a contestant on, “Are You Smarter Than a Kindergartener?” because she wasn’t.

Actually, the full name of that show was supposed to be, “Are You Smarter Than a Kindergartener or Have Your Political Prejudices Clouded Every Aspect of Your Ability to Reason in a Rational and Objective Manner?” But TV Guide complained the title was too long to fit on their scheduling charts.

Okay, I hate to do this, but things are a bit lean around here these days, what with the expense of rebuilding the website and all, so I’ve had to take on a few advertisers to help foot the bill. Sorry, but them’s the breaks. And so it is we pause for a brief commercial announcement …

Crack heads … are you tired of that bitter, battery-acid taste that street shwack burns into the walls of your nasal cavity? Well, good news ~ methamphetamine is now available in strawberry, chocolate, cola and other delicious flavors. Don’t think of it as a toxic and addictive street drug that will lengthen your rap sheet and shorten your life … think of it as “Strawberry Quick.” Ummmm ~ tastes better already, doesn’t it? Yes, now you can enjoy the soul-killing euphoria of Drano without the nasty taste. And just because our flavored rock is also available in lollipop form, does not mean we are marketing drugs to children. Remember ~ flavored crank … because you deserve it.

Okay, true, I don’t usually consider drug dealers as good role models and wouldn’t normally run advertising from them, but hey ~ they got wads of cash. Plus if you steep a drug dealer’s money in boiling water and drink it like tea, it’ll get you high for three days.

Actually, I’m being serious about that flavored meth. Read about it USA Today. They even have it in powered form, so you can guzzle it like a power drink. Actually, there is a precedent for cocaine-based power drinks in this country. Where do you think the “coca” in Coca-Cola came from back in the day? Anyway, in 1993, something like 28,000 meth addicts sought treatment. A scant decade later, in 2003, that number had jumped to 136,000. And with the new candy-flavored crunk, I don’t doubt the next decade will be even better.

Quote of the Week: “(Hell) really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more.” ~ Pope Benedict XVI

Wise words from the same pope who reminded the world that Islam is a theocracy of hatred and violence. Man ain’t afraid to tell the truth, I’ll give him that.

Did you know that in Texas, they don’t even prosecute illegal aliens unless they’ve been arrested at least six times? I wonder if they do that for robbery. Isn’t that what illegals are doing ~ stealing the American dream? True, most people today think the American dream is an urban myth … but I know some old timers who swear it’s real. I reserve judgement myself pending further investigation.

POST 3/11 RECONSTRUCTION

On 9/11 of 2001, the Trade Towers fell ~ hit by jihadists. The Pentagon took a hit and an airliner went down in a Pennsylvania field. We all remember that horrendous time as the day the jihadists brought their hatred of life and liberty to American shores.

On 3/11 of 2007, HomeTown fell ~ also hit by jihadists. Although estimates vary, U.S. websites destroyed on that day number in the thousands. Hindsight being 20/20, HomeTownland Security told us their focus was too much on domestic threats and not enough on foreign.

“That is the first thing we will fix when we relaunch,” said HTC site administrator iTalk, speaking to us via cell phone.

According to iTalk, a network of jihadist hackers are attempting to disrupt and destroy Internet communications throughout the country, and on 3/11 they scored a major hit ~ just check out Warrior Virus.

ITalk also pointed out that most, if not all, the websites attacked by the Warrior virus did not recover and have been forced to either fold their tent or start over again from scratch ~ neither of which HTC is willing to do. He said until the entire original site can be retrieved, Team Hometown has put together this interim site. ITalk stressed that this site is just temporary.

“We all stumble from time to time,”  iTalk said, “and sometimes we even fall. But we’re only defeated if we fail to get back up. We will get back up. When? Well, going with your 9/11 analogy, the damage done there wasn’t fixed in days or even weeks. So don’t expect the damage done to HTC on 3/11 to be fixed overnight. Just bear with us ~ we will be back.”

Meanwhile, iTalk pointed out that HomeTownCleveland.com has a contingency plan.

“Yeah, we have a contingency plan,” he smiled. “His name is J. Michael Leonard and he authors the most widely read and longest-running weekly column in Cleveland/Bradley ~ Out Of My Mind. This year marks 11 years he’s been writing his column and even with 3/11, he’s not missed a deadline. We decided that continuing his column would be a perfect “fix” until we get back to full strength. At least, it’ll allow our members and visitors a fresh read while we rebuild.”

iTalk continued, “J. Michael once told me, he said ~ ‘Out Of My Mind will get you through times of no HTC better than HTC will get you through times of no Out Of My Mind.’ I didn’t even know what that meant at the time, but it now makes a strange sort of sense in light of 3/11, and certainly his column maintains a link between then and now. While our coders are working to retrieve the HTC knowledgebase, J. Michael is standing in the gap. I’ve always known HTC had a strong team, but in the wake of this catastrophic attack, I’m learning first hand just how strong this team really is.”

We asked iTalk when the site would be back up.

“Right now, I can’t say for sure,” he replied. “It’s a question of time & money. I’ll just say, ‘As soon as possible,’ and leave it at that. But I have to hang up now, we’re very busy and I have a lot to do.”

Meanwhile, HTC said they are working to lay the foundation for a “HomeTown Defense Fund” for those who want to help financially in getting the website back up and running. Technical director, Perk “iBug” Evans explained.

“For almost three years, HomeTownCleveland.com has operated at no cost to this community,” he told us. “We put on the Hometown BASH back in ’04, which featured a day of live music, kiddie games, pony rides and plenty of good food ~ all free to the public. During the summer of 05, we brought this community the very successful Hometown Nights, which featured live music outdoors and vintage drive-in movies every weekend at the Bradley Square Mall, also free to the public. We put on and sponsored the Hometown Debate in 2005, featuring all candidates in the 24th District’s special called election. That debate went out live on television and radio at the expense of HTC and debate sponsors. HomeTownCleveland.com is the largest civic organization in Bradley County, with over 1,500 members. HTC has been a study in community relations over the years by providing a free and objective forum for the people of this community to voice their opinions. We give you news, investigative reports, interviews, humor, discourse, audio, video … and we have never solicited money from members, visitors, advertisers, politicians or anyone else. So far it’s all been on our dime.”

iBug continued, “But now, we could use a little help. The type of damage done to HTC is tedious and time consuming to repair. It requires a high skill level. If our community wants to lend a hand, help us pay these bills, HTC would certainly appreciate it. At this point, a time frame for getting the site back up depends largely on paid technical contractors.”

Watch this space for further information about the HomeTown Defense Fund. In fact, watch this space.

Wikipedia says the total population of earth is over 6.5 billion as of this year. That’s a lot of people. I don’t see any alternative … some of you folks gotta go.

Six point five billion. That’s a lot of “gimme gimme.” And how is America stacking up here halfway through the first decade of the 21st century? Fat, diabetic, drug-addled, oblivious, querulous and studyin’ some serious war. Puede usted cavarlo? You gotta love the end times, though, don’t cha? Seriously, there are no surprises anymore.

Question of the Week: “Plantains ~ delicious ethnic delicacy or just a plate of rotten bananas?”

According to a study by the State Education Agency, a third of the population in the District of Columbia is functionally illiterate. No surprise, though. After all, in addition to being peopled largely by politicians, DC is the town that elected Marion Barry mayor, watched him get nabbed smoking crack in a FBI sting, then re-elected him again after he got out of prison. Illiterates and politicians are a match made in … well, not Heaven, but somewhere.

Quote of the Week: “If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very, very low crime rate.” ~ Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, DC

By the way, the State Education Agency is described as “a quasi-governmental office created by the U.S. Department of Education to distribute federal funds for literacy services.” I read that as a roundabout way of saying, “The NEA wants to pay a lot of people in DC to stay stupid.”

Speaking of mealy political agendas, Newt Gringrich now says a candidate’s past shouldn’t be held against them during an election. Easy enough for him to say now that he wants to be president. Not so easy for him to say back when he was cheating on his wife and hammering Bill Clinton for infidelity.

Quote of the Week: “The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist.” ~ Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, DC

Can somebody tell me how a woman whose life accomplishments were having large bosoms, marrying an 89-year-old billionaire when she was 26, and being trashed on prescription drugs all the time has became the sacrificial virgin of the media all of a sudden? How is it possible that I can turn on the TV every day for the last six months and see yet another “breaking” Anna Nicole Smith exclusive? What breaking? How breaking? She’s been dead over a month, her son’s been dead since September ~ how is she news every single day? Listen, I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, Lord knows I don’t mean to do that, but the woman was known for three things: taking drugs, getting naked and being a hoochie girl. Now she’s Mother Teresa all of a sudden? I just want to know how did that happen?

Speaking of Mother Teresa … I hate to bust your bubble, but that woman wasn’t all she’s cracked up to be, neither. She liked to surround herself with nice things, too, just as much as anybody. True, when she died, all she owned was a bucket and two saris, but how many people in this world would love to be able to afford a bucket and two saris? How many poor working stiffs ever actually own a bucket and two saris? Seriously, how many? What? Almost anyone who wants those things? Plus a whole lot of other stuff, too? Oh sure, stick up for the dead women. Poooor Anna Nicole, poooor Mother T. Well, you can say what you will about whatever you want, but I think I made my point.

Quote of the Week: “I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man, I am an intelligent man, I am a deeply educated man, I am a humble man.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

I was chatting with one of our local rich guys recently and he was bragging about all his stuff. At one point, he said, “You know, J. Michael … I can drive for hours and still be in my own front yard.” So I told him, “Yeah, I got a car like that too.” Bada BING!

Boy … rich guys. They’re always ready with a million-dollar handout if it means a fat write-off, but where are they when you just want a couple of bucks for a cheeseburger and some tots? Hello? I don’t see no rich guys coming around.

Sometimes when adversity strikes, the best thing to do is carry on as you normally would. So when HomeTownCleveland.com was hit by cyber terrorists on March 11, I decided to keep writing my column, just like normal. Got no place to post it right now, but that’s okay ~ the writing of it is the thing. However, to those cyber terrorists, let me just say: Unkind … you should play nice.

Not that they’ll listen to what I say, the little antichrists.

And now (he said with a dismissive shrug), on to normalcy …Quote of the Week: “You can’t end the war if you’re going against the supplemental. It’s time these idiot liberals understood that.” ~ House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey chewing a woman out over the war supplemental spending bill process

What’s so amazing about the preceding quote is, David Obey is a Democrat. Who are these “idiot liberals” he is referring to? I thought the liberals were all on his side of the ideological aisle. They ain’t many idiot liberals on the Republican side, I’ll tell you that. Plenty of idiots there, but not liberal idiots. Man, that blows my mind he said that. I don’t think I have ever heard a Democrat insult liberals like that. Did global warming cause that? I gotta chew on that one for a while.

But then somebody like Louis Farrakhan comes along and all is well with the world again. Farrakhan might be a nutty old NeoMuslim who believes spaceships are waiting in orbit to zap the sinners and save the saints, but the man maybe ain’t as crazy as he sounds cause he did say on ABC’s Nightline that Bill Clinton “did less for black people than other presidents.” Whatever else might have come out of Farrakhan’s mouth, that, at least, was lucid. Glad to know I’m not the only one who didn’t buy that whole “first black president” thing the FOBs were trying to sell. Bill Clinton is about as “black” as a grain of white rice … and about as altruistic.

And in that vein …

Quote of the Week: “There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There’s certainly times when I’ve fallen short of God’s standards.” ~ Newt Gingrich, commenting on the fact that he was cheating on his wife at the same time he was criticizing Bill Clinton for cheating on his wife

But ol’ Newt is sounding more and more like a candidate. I’ll go ahead and say it first ~ if Newt Gingrich ever received the Republican nomination, it would guarantee Hillary the White House. Only difference between Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton is … is … uh … I gotta chew on that one a while, too.

Ann Coulter and that black guy from Grey’s Anatomy have both gotten into trouble for using the word “faggot.” Now, we all know you can’t use the N-word (can’t even write it … hence the short hand, “N-word”), but it’s looking more and more like pretty soon, if you want to say “faggot,” you’ll have to say “F-word” instead. Of course, we already have an F-word, so we’ll have to come up with a way to differentiate between the F-word (homosexual) and the F-word (vulgarity). Or even the F-word for cigarettes because in England, cigarettes have been called “fags” for years.

Can’t you see some poor Brit in this country trying to buy a pack of fags … “Give us a pack of F-words there, mate.” Store clerk goes, “Duh ~ you mean you want a pack of homosexuals?” “No, you bleedin’ twit (or, in its politically correct context: “No, you B-wordin’ T-word …”), I mean a pack of smokes.” I tell you now, it’s gonna get confusing. Or I should say … it’s gonna get C-wording.

Or maybe not. I don’t know and don’t care cause I’m losing my train of thought. I keep thinking about Abdul fiddling while HomeTown burned. Enjoy the fire, Abdul. And get used to it.

HomeTownCleveland.com is
EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

Sorry for the inconvenience, folks, but sometimes stuff happens. Just like when your brakes need adjusting on your car or your refrigerator goes on the blink, we at HTC are having a couple of minor cyber-type glitches. Not to worry, however, for our crack technical crew is hard at work under the able eye of mighty iTalk and we will be back up and running soon.

Meanwhile, take a walk, smell a rose, pet a dog, kiss your kids, read a book or otherwise occupy yourselves. Absence does, after all, make the heart grow fonder, yes? Hang in there and we’ll be back as soon as we can.